So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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