Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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