i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
