The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Randomize
