when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
