8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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