That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
