She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
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There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
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I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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