Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The adults are the big ones right?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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