Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
