My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
where are you?
Hypothermia
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
