K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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