Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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