I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
