Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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