like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
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