I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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