why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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