i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
