We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
