sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
