Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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