A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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