Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
