you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Don't make out with my wife yet
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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