I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
We named our party play list daddy issues
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
