dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
