I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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