i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize
