you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
