i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize