okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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