See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize