This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
