I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
