I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
