she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
