Your tits are I can't wait for
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
