garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Randomize
