his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
she peed on how many people?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
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She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
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It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize