dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
my liver is dry heaving
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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