I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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