I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
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