On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I cannot find my penis.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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