Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
