He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
