I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
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