Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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