I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
