UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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