all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
