Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
