Apparently you make a good broom.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
