People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
