I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
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After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
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