I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
