i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
only you would photoshop your dick
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
