i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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