he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
