This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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