Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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