You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize