I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
