At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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