She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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